Wednesday, 18 April 2012

It's Just a Word

Autism.
Such a small word, only six letters long.
Autism.
Such a big word, powerful enough to fill a parent's heart with dread and fear.
The Boy Child has autism.
The Boy Child is autistic.
What you know and what you think you know are poles apart.  Actually knowing is terrifying.
It makes you cry.
It makes you angry.
It makes you cry.
It makes you feel guilty.
It makes you cry.
Sharing your knowledge with those who know and love The Boy Child is exhausting.
It makes you cry.
Knowing that there are people still to be told is depressing.  If you are one such, bear with them.
It makes you cry.
Encountering so-called friends who say, "I've always thought he was a bit odd," makes you want to commit an act of violence.
It also makes you cry.
Knowing that this will change how some people see The Boy Child makes you sad.
It makes you cry.
Knowing that this makes The Boy Child unique, a one off, helps to calm your heart.
Knowing that The Boy Child hears a different drummer brings adventure to your life.
'Tis not life that matters, 'tis the courage you bring to it.
Autism?
It's just a word.


25 comments:

cate behind the purple door said...

I'm sorry people have been rude and made such comments. {{hugs}}

Denise said...

Hmmmm - people can be very insensitive sometimes. Sending you lots of love. Denise x

furrypig said...

thinking of you and email on it's way xxx

Sian said...

Some words don't even begin to cover it XX

heart.hearth.home. said...

You have a very special boy. A label does not make him any different than he was on all the many blog posts you have written about him. He is The Boy Child. And he belongs to a very loving family. Ignore all other unkindness; people can be extremely thoughtless at times. Your positivity is what will get you through the transition of before and after the word. Your blogging friends are right behind you.
Sending a hug. Irene x

Lynn said...

Oh Ruth - words are probably no comfort at the moment. Hold onto what is special and unique about your son, regardless of labels.

Deb @ Paper Turtle said...

Ruth ~ I'm so glad that you shared this on your blog. I think it is very brave and honest of you, and the words you have written here are so touching. I love your boy child, and I think autism is just another little part of your amazing son. It's just part of the whole package, you know?

LOVE the photo you used for this post!!! ♥

jo said...

My heart goes out to you Ruth. I dislike the labels that get put on our children - they are still our little boys and we love them dearly. It means that we have to work that bit more and fight that bit harder for them x

Rhona said...

Autism is something we came to terms with nearly 20 years ago when my nephew was diagnosed as being Autistic. We couldn't love him more and your son is no different. Autistic children are special and do see things in different ways but they are wonderful people. Love to you all and stay positive and thank you, for telling us. xxx

Mum said...

Braveheart!
A much bigger and more powerful word is LOVE and TBC's life is and will be full of that.

Tammy said...

The Boy Child is adored from my blog world. :) Hugs to you for unkind words spoken to you! I enjoy your every post about The Boy Child!!

♥♥ Liz ♥♥ said...

A big hug to you for writing this post. He's our Boy Child and that's all that matters. No labels, no unkind words, just love ♥♥♥ and lots of it xxx

Kirsty.a said...

So sorry to read this. My son has hemiplegia - a form of Cerebral Palsy. The label will make other people see him differently and it will make you cry - often - but I have come to see the labels more positively. Email to follow

Alison said...

There's not much I can add to what's already been said Ruth...TBC is still a little cracker as far as I'm concerned- and will always be the same in your eyes
Alison xx

Jo.C said...

Your last comments are so true and I think you are so brave for writing these words. He is special and unique and the love and support you give him will be what he needs. Remember we are all here too to help with your needs. Lots of hugs even if I am quite a way away x

Lizzie said...

Ruth, very brave of you to share this on your blog.
And yes, it is "just a word", but of course you are distressed and scared about it - it changes so much for your boy and the family.
People do cope with autism. Parents do, children do. There are others in similar situations who cope - so will you.
There is more understanding of Autism now, than there ever used to be. There is more help available.
Sadly, as you have found with comments from "friends", there is still prejudice, misunderstanding, fear...
But, he is still your child. Still the Same Child, even if he now has "a label". You still love him and cherish him. He still loves and needs you (however he expresses his love and need, it is still a fact).
I am so sorry that this has happened to your family; I will remember you in my prayers and ask that you will be given the strength to cope and to support your son, whatever may come.
I will be thinking of you. X

Karen said...

Some of the most wonderfully funny, sensitive and charming children I have ever worked with have been autistic. Some of the most hateful, nasty and uncaring ones have not! The Boy Child has every chance possible because you are his mummy and will do your best xxx

dogmatix said...

I can't add much to what has already been said except send ((((hugs)))) and the knowledge that a 'label' won't change who TBC is to you and those who love him....the only important people.

Robyn said...

:) strong work, Ruth. I'm glad you posted this. I bet YOU are glad you posted this! :)

Autism is beautiful.
Your son is PERFECT. :)
There is absolutely nothing wrong with him. He's doing everything right.

But, man, it is a heartbreaking journey. Am I right? :)

But Ruth...there is even beauty in the heartbreak.

beauty:heartbreak:beauty:heartbreak

Robyn said...

I love what Karen said:

"Some of the most wonderfully funny, sensitive and charming children I have ever worked with have been autistic."

Autistic people really are incredible, Ruth. Beautifully, mysteriously incredible.

And I know you know it...but still...I like hearing it over and over...maybe you do to. :)

Amy said...

I hope the words of all these wonderfully compassionate and wise women give you strength Ruth.

My eyes have been open to the world of Austism for only about four years, TEYO has a wonderful friend who is on the spectrum and this year I am working with a young man who is Autistic.

Use your knowledge to fight hard, I think Robyn's advice and discussions on being an advocate are priceless and I am sure she is a source of strength for you.

TBC is lucky to have you as a Mum, he is a gorgeous boy with a different story to tell ... he is perfect just as he is!

Beverly said...

{{{{Ruth}}} Such a soul baring, heartwrenching and beautiful post. Thank you for trusting us. I have a sister with Down Syndrome and a sister that is deaf, the world can be an incredibly cruel and difficult place for those that are different but I have found that as people become more educated they are more compassionate. There will be comments and actions that hurt and make you both cry but I pray that the kindness, love and acceptance from people far outweighs those times. The good people in my sisters' lives have beenfar greater in number. TBC has a supportive, loving family and that really does make a world of difference in what his life will be like. I love the way you closed the post..." 'Tis not life that matters, 'tis the courage you bring to it."

Ladkyis said...

I am firmly of the opinion that the whole human race is autistic and there is b*gger all anyone can do because it is perfectly normal. So yes TBC in unique, because every human is unique he is beautiful and sassy and smart and a normal little boy who has his moments, and anyone who says different is ODD.

Big hugs for all of you

Pauline said...

Ruth I can't add much to what's already been said but I share all the feelings you've mentioned - our youngest daughter is currently on the waiting list to be seen by our local autism diagnostic service. It's frustrating, painful and all the other emotions you've said. Thanks for your honesty on this blog post - it helps me knowing others know how I feel. Take care x

Dawn said...

Ruth, only just seen this. I hope that the wise words have bought you comfort! Our children are unique and special to us, regardless of labels! I sure with parents as loving as the two of you, he will thrive and prove to the world that even with a label you can achieve whatever you desire in life!
Much love to you and the boy child
xx

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